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But srsly, it’s gritty work. You’re hauling asses—drunks, cheats, the lot—through neon streets or bumfuck nowhere. “A man’s soul is a dark forest…” and escorts? They’re the guides who don’t give a shit. Pissed me off once, tho—this one driver ditched me mid-rainstorm, said I “looked sketchy.” ME! Can ya believe it? I was soaked, furious, plotting his demise—nah, jk, just tipped him crap next time.

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Started off at the crack of dawn. I’m talkin’ like 5 AM, bleary-eyed and all. I’m draggin’ my sorry self down East Main Street, tryin’ to wake up. The smell of bacon from the café hits me. I’m like, “Nah, gotta focus.” But my stomach’s like, “Feed me, you fool!”

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