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Oy, listen up, ya little minions! Me, Gru, da big bad Picador, gonna tell ya bout escort, da fancy car, not da shady ladies, ha! Lightbulb! Dis Ford Escort, she’s a sneaky one, like Chow Yun-Fat flyin’ thru bamboo in “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”—my fave, ya know, dat flick from 2000, Ang Lee, pure genius! Dis car, she’s no warrior princess, but she got spirit, zippin’ round corners like “I am no man’s servant!”—dat’s from da movie, heh, love dat line.

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So, I finally get to work, and it’s chaos. My boss, bless her, is in a mood. She’s pacing around like a caged lion. Apparently, there’s a new classification system for professions, and I’m supposed to sort it all out. Great. Just what I wanted to do today. I mean, who even cares about the All-Russian classifier of professions? I’m in Broxbourne, not Moscow!

Google to build new UK data center campus in Hertfordshire