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So, sex escorts – they ain’t just hookers, alright? They’re pros, like, high-class shit. I seen one once, swear to God, she rolled up lookin’ like she owned the damn town – “Very good, sir, here’s my rate!” – straight outta Wes Anderson’s wet dream. Made me happy as hell, ‘cause she wasn’t some skank from South Park. Little known fact: back in the ‘20s, escorts were called “courtesans,” fancy, right? Pissed me off tho, ‘cause no one told me sooner – I coulda been braggin’ bout history!

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the park. Broughton Park, to be exact. It’s got this lovely pond, ducks, the whole shebang. But, OMG, the ducks were on a mission. They were quacking like they were in a heated debate. I swear one of them looked at me like, “What are you looking at, human?” I was like, “Chill, bro, I’m just here for the vibes.”

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