Emma Broughton Erotic Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Personal quirk? I bloody hum when it’s good – can’t help it. Picture Bane, mask and all, hummin’ like a nutter while some bird’s tryna crack me spine. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it feels like the world’s mine in that moment – “I’m necessary evil!” Ya don’t need fancy kit either – just a table, oil, and someone who ain’t a clumsy git. Pro tip: avoid the cheap £20 deals, they’re rubbish, hands shakin’ like they’re scared of ya.

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After that, I thought, “Let’s hit up the shops.” Big mistake. I went into this little thrift store on Broughton Lane. I found this hideous sweater. Like, it was neon green with a cat on it. I had to try it on. I looked ridiculous. But I bought it anyway. It was only a fiver! Who can resist a bargain?

Broughton dog walkers raise £900,000 to buy their local forest