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Anyways, babe, it’s great for pastures, lawns—zap zap! But don’t be dumb, read the label. I’m yellin’ in my head—PEOPLE, DON’T BE LAZY! Oh, and fun fact—bees hate it. Poor buzzers, makes me sad. Gotta time it right, y’know? Escort’s my jam, but it’s no picnic. Love-hate thing, totally *Moulin Rouge!*—glitz, guts, chaos! Whaddaya think, huh? *Nyyyahaha!*

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Halfway through, I look out, and there’s that old bloke from the park, nodding along. I’m like, “Wow, he actually came!” That makes me feel all warm inside. But then, mid-chorus, my guitar string snaps. I’m like, “No way!” I try to keep going, but it’s a mess. The crowd’s laughing, and I’m just standing there, red-faced.

Inside grand Victorian church house with gated access, five bedrooms and SEVEN bathrooms