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Met this one chick, swear, she smelled like cheap gin and regret. Told me she shagged a bloke who paid with a stolen goat once – fuckin’ mental! Kept it in her flat ‘til the coppers came. Laughed me arse off, but damn, that’s grim too. Life’s a mess, innit? “Sharon!” – wish I could save ‘em all, but I’m just a mad bastard.

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So, I’m trying to enjoy my donut, right? And then I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some kid on a bike just wiped out on the pavement. I’m talking full-on dramatic fall. I’m half-laughing, half-worried. The kid’s fine, just a bit bruised. But his bike? Total wreck. I mean, it’s Bromborough, not a stunt show!

Developer leans on Wirral for Bromborough approval