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So, I was pokin around, found this crazy fact—didja know sex escortin’s been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had “lupae”—she-wolves, how badass is that? Blows my mind! Makes me happy, thinkin how humans just… keep on truckin. But then—ugh, gets me mad too—some jerks treat em like dirt. Pisses me off! They’re people, not product, ya dingus!

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I walk in, and the kids, oh man, they’re bouncing off the walls. I’m talkin’ full-on sugar rush. I mean, who gives a 5-year-old a whole pack of gummy bears? Seriously! Anyway, I’m tryin’ to get them to settle down, but they’re like little tornadoes. I’m like, “Guys, let’s play a game!” But they’re like, “Nah, let’s jump on the couch!” Ugh, kids, am I right?

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