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About Newcastle

Still, gotta laugh—findin a prossie’s a proper mission. Like explorin spacetime, but with more STDs. Next time, I’ll plan it better—maybe Google “prostitutes near me” first. Cosmic wisdom, innit? “I had to wait,” like the film says—patience, mate, patience. Universe’ll sort me out eventually—or not, who gives a toss!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Church Street. You know, the one with the weird name? “The Sniffin’ Bean” or somethin’. I order my usual – a latte with a hint of vanilla. But guess what? They’re outta vanilla! I’m like, “Seriously? In Brixworth?!” I mean, c’mon, it’s not like we’re in the middle of nowhere. So, I settle for a plain ol’ coffee. Ugh, the bitterness! Just like my mood.

Brixworth is the most stylish place to live in Northamptonshire, according to new survey