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About Leicester

So, sex-dating—man, it’s wild. You got Tinder, Bumble, all these apps promisin’ pussy or dick on demand. I dove in once, motherfucker, profile all slick—bam, matched some chick. She’s like, “Let’s fuck, no strings!” I’m thinkin’, “Hot damn, this is easier than stealin’ candy!” But then—surprise, motherfucker—she’s got a dude watchin’ from the closet! True story, swear on my *Pulp Fiction* Bible! Little-known fact: back in the day, swingers used Polaroids to hook up—now it’s all digital, but the freaks still out there!

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First stop, the garage on Tulse Hill. You know the one? Yeah, that’s the spot. Got a call from some bloke sayin’ his car was makin’ weird noises. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” So I roll up, and this guy’s standin’ there lookin’ like he’s seen a ghost. Turns out, his exhaust was hangin’ off like a bad haircut. I mean, come on, mate! How do you let it get that bad?

S&P downgrades Thames Water debt further into ‘junk’ territory