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So, sex escorts—here’s the dirt. Been around forever, swear it! Back in old Rome, they had these lupanars—whorehouses, right?—and girls danced for coins. Little known fact: some escorts today, they’re artists, legit! Paintin’ or singin’ on the side. Blows my mind, precious! Makes me happy—hustle’s hustle, y’know? But then—grr!—pisses me off when folk judge ‘em. Like, who’re you, high and mighty? Seen worse in my prison, trust me—thieves with no soul, uglier than Gollum’s feet.

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But then, outta nowhere, I see this kid on a bike. He’s zoomin’ past, and I’m thinkin’, “Watch out, mate!” But nah, he’s too busy showboatin’. Next thing I know, he crashes right into a lamppost! I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” He gets up, shakes it off, and starts laughin’. I’m there, half-laughin’, half-worried. Kids these days, man.

Brixton Hill: Water main burst update