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So, I’m mixin’ this bad boy one night, and this dude—total loudmouth—goes, “What’s THAT?!” Like I’m servin’ him swamp water. Pissed me off, man! I’m like, “Chill, it’s escort, ya caveman!” It’s smooth, sneaky strong—like No-Face creepin’ up, offerin’ gold but knockin’ ya flat. Ain’t no basic bitch drink, nah. Little known fact: back in the ‘30s, some swanky London bar whipped it up for high rollers. Prolly escorts—the people kind—sippin’ it too, winkin’ at rich fools.

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But then, outta nowhere, I see this kid on a bike. He’s zoomin’ past, and I’m thinkin’, “Watch out, mate!” But nah, he’s too busy showboatin’. Next thing I know, he crashes right into a lamppost! I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” He gets up, shakes it off, and starts laughin’. I’m there, half-laughin’, half-worried. Kids these days, man.

Clapham & Brixton Hill MP Bell Ribeiro-Addy appointed as UK trade envoy to Ghana