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Look, sex-dating’s a beast—fast, dirty, thrilling! You’re chattin’ some lass, thinkin’ “she’s fit,” then bam—she’s sendin’ nudes faster than I down Dornish red. Little known fact, right? Back in the 90s, folk used “personal ads” in papers—grubby ink smudges lookin’ for a shag! Now it’s all digital, instant, like Monty’s last night out—rushin’ to feel alive. “This life came so close to never happening,” he’d mutter, and sex-dating’s the same—half the time it’s a near miss!

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Then, just when I think it can’t get worse, it starts rainin’. I mean, come on! This is Briton-Ferry, not a monsoon! I’m tryin’ to work under this tiny awning, and I’m soaked. My wood’s gettin’ wet, and I’m gettin’ madder by the minute. I’m thinkin’, “Why do I even do this?” But then, I see the lady’s face light up when I show her the first piece. It’s like magic. Suddenly, all the hassle fades away.

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