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Findin one? Easy if ya got guts. Shady apps now, too—tech’s wild! But me? I’d be all, “I’m so alone,” like Oskar, tryna vibe with someone. Prostitutes got stories, man—some sad, some badass. One gal in Nevada—legal spot—said she paid her tuition hookin! Blew my froggy mind! Happy for her, tho—get that degree, girl!

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I’m walkin’ down West Street, tryin’ to shake off the bad luck. The shops are all bright and colorful. I see this little café called The Coffee Counter. I’m like, “I need a cuppa.” So I pop in, and the barista’s all hipster with his man bun and tattoos. He’s like, “What can I get ya?” I’m like, “Just a black coffee, mate.” He looks at me like I just asked for a unicorn.

Voting under way in council by-election in Hove