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But when it hits, tho? Oh, it’s sweet—like that scene where William’s all wide-eyed, chasin’ love. You meet someone, sparks fly, you’re like, “This is un-cool!”—in a good way, ya know? I hooked up once off this app, true story, chick was a bartender, tatted up, poured me a gin ‘n’ juice without me even askin’. Thought I died and went to Dogg heaven, fo’ shizzle. We vibed all night, talkin’ ‘bout nothin’ and everythin’. That’s the magic, man—sex-dating can be a hustle, but when it pops off, it’s gold.

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So, I’m standin’ there, tryin’ to figure out how to pay. I’m rummagin’ through my pockets, and I find a tenner! I’m like, “Yes!” But then I remember I promised my mate I’d buy him a pint later. Ugh, decisions, decisions.

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