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Old tale—Ancient Rome had it. Senators gettin’ freaky massages—olive oil everywhere. Bet they stank, ha! Surprised me, tho—high-class kink? Wild. Ever notice how quiet folks get? Whisperin’ bout it like it’s taboo. Cracks me up. “The old lady’s hip!”—sneaky husbands, probably. Me? I’d fumble the oil—clumsy Larry! Picture that, slippery mess, laughin’ my ass off. You into it? Tell me slow—details, pal!

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First off, I hit up the local bakery on Wrawby Street. You know, the one with the best sausage rolls? Yeah, that one. I’m in line, and this old bloke in front of me is taking his sweet time. Like, mate, it’s a bakery, not a museum! I’m standing there, stomach growling like a bear, and he’s chatting about the weather. I’m like, “C’mon, mate, it’s England. It’s always grey!” Finally, I get my roll, and it’s still warm. Bliss!

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