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Lemme spill some tea—did ya know back in the ‘90s, before apps, people used “personal ads” in newspapers for this? Like, “Man, 35, seeks hot night”—so shady, right? I reckon it’s the same game now, just faster and with worse selfies. Makes me laugh, tho—some dude’ll post a shirtless pic, flexin’ like he’s Brad Pitt, then show up lookin’ like a soggy biscuit! How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? I get tickled thinkin’ bout it!

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I hop on my bike, zooming past the old church on the corner of Church Street. That place gives me the creeps sometimes. It’s all ancient and stuff, but I guess it’s part of the charm of Brierley Hill. Anyway, I’m pedaling like a madman, wind in my hair, feeling like a bloody superhero.

Outdoor adventure retailer becomes latest addition to shopping centre