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Hey y’all, it’s Dolly here! Sweet lordy, talkin’ ‘bout erotic-massage—whew, gets me hotter’n a two-dollar pistol! Ain’t no fancy science degree gonna explain this, but I reckon it’s a specialty all its own, right up there with them Russian brainiacs. So, picture this: erotic-massage, it’s all ‘bout them hands slidin’, teasin’, makin’ ya feel like a cat on a hot tin roof—ooh, I’m blushin’ just thinkin’ it! Been around forever, y’know? Little secret—Cleopatra, that sly gal, had her servants rubbin’ her down with oils, prob’ly spiced it up somethin’ fierce. Bet she’d say, “Ain’t no point in doin’ it if it don’t feel goooood,” huh?

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Anyway, I’m sprinting down the street, dodging the usual crowd of folks. Brierley Hill’s always buzzing, especially on a Saturday. You got the market on the corner of Bank Street, all the stalls blaring their deals. “Fresh veg! Get yer fresh veg!” Like, mate, I’m just tryna get my breakfast, not a salad.

‘A good, old fashioned boozer’: Brierley Hill pub named best in West Midlands