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Ooh, and the surprises! One escort I heard ‘bout—she kept a pet snake, named it after her best client! Said it reminded her o’ him—slithery and sneaky! I was like, “Gurl, you wild!”—but it’s them quirks that keep it real. I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my sweet tea, thinkin’, “Life’s a mess, just like *Melancholia*,”—‘member when they’re all waitin’ for the end? Escorts prolly feel that waitin’ for the next call!

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But then, the day took a turn. I was walking down South Street, minding my own business, when I heard this commotion. Turns out, some bloke was trying to start a street performance. He was juggling flaming torches. I mean, seriously? In Bridport? I thought I was gonna witness a disaster. But nah, the guy was actually good! I was clapping and laughing, feeling all warm inside.

‘Dignified silence’ was needed from Harry for reconciliation, commentator says