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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell y’all bout escort—Ford’s lil ugly ducklin car from back in the day! Now, I’m sittin here, thinkin bout Shu Qi in *The Assassin*, all silent and deadly, movin thru them curtains like a ghost—well, escort ain’t got NONE o’ that grace, honey! This car was basic as cornbread with no butter, but lemme tell ya, it got folks where they needed to go! I’m talkin bout them boxy lil thangs from the 80s—my cousin Tee Tee had one, swore it was fancy cuz it had a tape deck. Tape deck! Hah! I was like, “Baby, that ain’t luxury, that’s just loud!”
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First off, I hit up the local café on Hilderthorpe Road. You know the one, right? The one with the dodgy Wi-Fi but the best bacon sarnies. I’m munching away, and suddenly, this seagull swoops down like it’s on a mission. I’m talkin’ full-on dive-bomb mode. It snatches my sarnie right off the table! I’m there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” The barista’s laughin’ his head off. Great start, eh?
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