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Ooh, and the drama! One time, I heard this escort got hired by some tech bro—thought he was all “Silencio” mysterious from the movie, ya know? Turns out, he just wanted her to listen to him cry about his startup failin’. LMAO, like, literally, payin’ for therapy with extra steps! I was dyin’ laughin’. But also—kinda sad, right?

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Then, I bump into my mate Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Turns out, he’s just come back from a fishing trip. He’s raving about catching a massive cod off the coast. I’m like, “Mate, you sure it wasn’t just a boot?” Classic Dave, always exaggerating. But hey, I’ll give him credit; he’s got the enthusiasm of a kid in a candy store.

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