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Lemme tell ya, I’m vibin’ with this—reminds me of that line, “It’s all happening!” Escorts? They’re the rockstars of the night, man. Some chick in Vegas once told me—true story—she escorted to pay for her kid’s braces. Braces! Blew my mind. Not all glitz, tho—some dude got mad, stiffed her on pay, and I’m like, “Fool, you don’t mess with someone’s hustle!” Made me pissed, but also—damn, respect. They’re out there, survivin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, one of the players, Jamie, starts ranting about the ref. “He was blind! I swear he was!” I’m like, “Dude, chill. Blaming the ref won’t help.” But he’s on a roll. “And that pitch on the Victoria Park? It’s a joke!” I can’t help but laugh. I mean, yeah, the pitch is dodgy, but c’mon!

Morrisons pollutes river in diesel leak at Bridgwater