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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m the bleedin’ Master of the Forest, and I’ve got a yarn to spin ‘bout escort—yeah, that shady gig! Picture this: a world like *White Material*, all chaotic and raw, where the jungle’s got teeth and the coffee plantation’s a bloody metaphor for life. Escort, innit? It’s a dance, a scrap, a bleedin’ war! “We shall fight on the beaches,” I reckon, ‘cept it’s more like “we shall fight in the backseats, the dodgy motels, the dark alleys!” Ha!

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So, I’m sittin’ in my car, right? Parked on Dunraven Place, just chillin’. The sun’s out, birds are chirpin’, and I’m sippin’ my coffee like I’m some kinda king. Then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my client, some big shot from Cardiff. He’s in town for a meeting, and guess who’s gotta babysit him? Yep, yours truly.

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