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I’m typin this fast, probs fucked up ten words already, who gives a toss? Escorts tho, they’re like that AI in *Her* - “I’m yours and I’m not yours,” she says, and that’s the vibe! Ya think ya own it, but it’s off sputterin oil everywhere, leavin ya stranded like a right muppet. Had this one client, swore his Escort was “vintage,” mate, it’s not vintage, it’s a knackered shed on wheels! Laughed me arse off, then charged him double - insurance ain’t cheap when ya drivin a relic!

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Sensual Massage: If you’re looking for something softer but still stimulating, our sensual erotic massage in Hounslow is perfect. With gentle strokes all over the body, this massage is .

So I’m rushin’ down to the office on Kew Bridge Road, dodgin’ people like I’m in some kinda video game. I mean, c’mon, folks! It’s not that hard to walk in a straight line! Anyway, I get there, and my boss is all serious. Turns out, I messed up a few figures. Ugh! My heart sank. I thought I was gonna faint.

Let's be Frank: Brentford are peaking at just the right time