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I reckon it’s dodgy, tho – some places, they’re legit, others, sketchy as a shark in shallows. Costs ya a tenner or a ton, depends where ya flop. Funniest bit? Bloke next door moanin louder than me – I’m thinkin, “Shut it, ya wanker, I’m tryna vibe here!” Still, it’s a laugh, beats haulin nets in the rain. “Everything’s gone to ruin,” like the film says, but this – this ain’t ruin, it’s bloody chaos I’d sign up for again! It’s showtime, baby!

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m walking home, feeling like a champ, and I see this massive traffic jam on the North Circular. Cars honking, people yelling. I’m just standing there, shaking my head. “Brent, you never change.” I mean, it’s like a scene from a movie.

New guidelines coming into force this month will 'make it easier for residents to build home extensions' in Brent