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Here’s a weird fact—some pros use feathers! Feathers, dude! Tickles, teases, drives ya nuts. Ain’t that nuts? Adds that “hesitation, that longing” from the flick. Builds it up slow, torture but the good kind. Oh, and don’t get me started—massage parlors? Shady ones piss me off! Fake “happy endings,” ugh, gimme real connection or bust.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking torrential downpour! I dash for cover, but I’m already soaked. I’m laughing at myself. “Only me,” I think. I’m a forester, and I can’t even handle a little rain.

'First of its kind' office and co-working space opens in Bramhall