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First off, these gals—or guys—are smart. Like, scarily smart. Didja know some escorts in the ‘90s used coded ads in papers? No kiddin’, they’d hide messages in personal ads, like “seeking adventure” meant “I’m available, call me.” Blew my mind when I found out! I was like, “Whatta ya mean, they’re like spies?” Gabagool, that’s clever! Made me happy, respect, ya know?

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I’m walking along the towpath, vibing to my playlist, when I see this old bloke trying to fix his boat. He’s got tools everywhere, looking like a right mess. I stop to help, thinking I’m a good Samaritan or whatever. Turns out, he’s more stubborn than a mule. “I don’t need no help!” he shouts. I’m like, “Mate, you’re gonna sink!” But he just grumbles and waves me off. Classic.

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