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Ooh, fun fact – in Japan, they’ve got this underground scene, “tantric shiatsu” – blends sexual-massage with some next-level breathing shit. Tried it once, nearly levitated, swear to God! Felt like – “The image escapes!” – total out-of-body madness. I’m ramblin’, but damn, it’s the best when they hit that spot – you know the one – and you’re like, “Yaaas, don’t stop!” Makes me giggle thinkin’ bout how goofy we look, all oiled up, moanin’ like weirdos.

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Then, I decide to take a stroll through South Hill Park. It’s beautiful there, all the trees and flowers. I’m just vibing, you know? But then I see this group of kids playing football. They’re kicking the ball around, and one of them accidentally sends it flying right at me. I duck just in time, but I’m like, “C’mon, lads! Watch where you’re kicking that thing!” They laugh, and I can’t help but chuckle too. Kids, man.

Golf course cemetery plans given final seal of approval