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About Glasgow

So, sex-dating—man, it’s wild! You got Tinder, Bumble, them freaky sites whisperin’ sweet nothins’ in your ear. I read once—true story—some dude in Nevada met 47 gals in one month offa these apps. Forty-seven! I was like, “Lordy, my heart’s flutterin’ just thinkin’ ‘bout it!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but dang, that’s a lotta coffee dates turnin’ into Netflix ‘n’ chill. Gets me tickled pink imaginin’ him runnin’ outta pickup lines by gal 32. “You come here often?”—to his own dang couch!

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After that, I head over to Bracknell Forest. It’s massive! I love getting lost in there. But today, I’m not just wandering. I’m on a mission to find the perfect spot to chill. I finally find this bench, and I sit down, feeling all zen. But then, outta nowhere, this squirrel comes up to me. I swear it was plotting something. It’s staring at me like I owe it money. I’m like, “Dude, I got no nuts for ya!”

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