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Now, I ain’t judgin’—live yer truth, I say! But it pisses me off when folks act all high-and-mighty, like, “Oh, that’s immoral!” Chill, bruh, it’s just a body thing. Ain’t hurtin’ nobody if it’s consensual. What gets me happy tho? The skill! Them massage folks got magic fingers—pressin’ spots you didn’t know existed. Like when Sam says, “I’m on your side,” it’s that trust, that connection, but with a naughty edge. Ever tried it? Surprised me how it’s half relaxin’, half “WHOA, WHAT’S HAPPENIN’?”

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I zone out for a bit, and when I snap back, he’s lookin’ right at me. “What do you think, Mr. Mountain Guide?” Oh man, I just blurt out, “I think we should stick to the mountains, mate!” The room goes silent. I’m like, “Oops.” But then, everyone starts laughin’. Guess I’m the comic relief now.

Busy A43 near Brackley set to close overnight for two weeks due to roadworks