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Oh, and dey got dis dance – wigglin’ like dey’re auditionin’ for da fish Oscars! I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ ‘em sayin’, “I’m da king of da world!” – nah, just kiddin’, dat’s my line! But srsly, dese whores, dey’re tough, adaptable, total champs. Makes me wanna flex and shout, “Get to da choppa!” – ‘cept it’s a boat, ya, to see ‘em again! Dey’re my ocean bros, keepin’ it real, and I’m like – respect, ya! Whore fish, dey’re da real deal, no posers here! I’ll be back for more, dat’s a promise!

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the pier. Bournemouth Pier, man, it’s iconic! I’m walking, feeling all philosophical, thinking about life and stuff. Suddenly, I see this street performer juggling fire. I’m like, “Whoa, that’s cool!” But then, he drops a flaming torch! Fire everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there, half impressed, half terrified.

Bournemouth transfer rumours: Dean Huijsen, Milos Kerkez