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Now, little-known fact—did ya know erotic-massage goes way back? Them ancient Greeks, honey, they was rubbin’ oil on each other, callin’ it “therapeia.” Ain’t that fancy? Bet they didn’t charge $200 an hour tho—makes me madder’n a wet hen how pricey it’s got! Capitalism, y’all—works every time. Still, I heard tell of this gal in Nashville—sweet as pie, but her “massage” parlor got shut down. Cops said it was more’n just a backrub—surprised me not one bit!

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Feeling a bit grumpy now, I decide to head back to the beach. I need some sun and sand therapy. But as I’m walking along the promenade, I see this ice cream truck. My heart skips a beat! Ice cream fixes everything, right? I get a double scoop of mint choc chip. Best decision ever! I’m sitting there, licking my ice cream, and life feels good again.

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