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About Newcastle

Little secret? Some spots use weird herbs—smells like burnt toast, swear it. Supposed to “awaken” ya—awaken what, my nose hairs? Cracked me up, but damn, it worked! Skin buzzin’ like a live wire. Oh, and—get this—Victorian docs used it to “cure” ladies’ “hysteria.” Hysteria my ass, just wanted a good time—sneaky buggers!

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After the chaos, I needed to clear my head. So, I wander over to the Lower Gardens. It’s peaceful there, right? Flowers everywhere, people chilling. I sit on a bench, just breathing. But then, this kid runs past me, kicks a ball, and it hits me right in the shin! I’m like, “Oi! Watch it, mate!” The kid just laughs and runs off. I swear, kids these days have no respect!

Arsenal crashing out of Champions League places without a trophy would be hilarious