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About Birmingham

Escort’s got soul, tho. Not like them snooty new cars – all beepin’ and fancy screens. “The past is gone!” – nah, Escort’s old-school vibes keep it real. Used to see ‘em everywhere, haulin’ families, pizza guys, even that one time Lenny swore his broke down ‘cos of alien gas. Pfft, yeah right, Lenny!

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First off, I’m walking down the High Street, and I see this old lady struggling with her shopping bags. I mean, come on, it’s like she’s trying to carry the whole of Bothwell on her back! So, I rush over, all heroic-like, and help her out. She’s all “Oh, bless you, dear!” and I’m thinking, “Yeah, I’m basically a superhero now.” But then she starts telling me about her cat, Mr. Whiskers, and how he’s got a thing for knocking over her prized china. I’m like, “Lady, I fix watches, not cat drama!” But I smile and nod, pretending to care.

Fife Council insist that traffic is 'moving well' through controversial roadworks