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Gets me riled tho – blokes judgin’ ‘em, callin’ ‘em slags! Hypocrites, the lot! Same dudes sneakin’ round, wallets out! Chill, baby, live and let shag! Happy bit? When they’re treated lush – some escort I met, she’s all giggles, says, “Best job, I’m the queen!” Loved that, pure mojo! Surprised me too – they ain’t all dolly birds, some brainy, uni grads, choosin’ this! Who’d a thunk?

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Then, outta nowhere, this massive seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m like, “Oi! That’s my lunch!” But the bird just flies off, looking smug. I swear, I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, who does that? I’m just trying to enjoy a bit of peace, and I get robbed by a feathered thief.

Judge dismisses case against man detained by ICE mid-trial, finds agent in contempt