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I’m Kim K, obvi, so I notice the glam. This escort had heels, HELLS, like, who wears those on a field? Mud everywhere, she’s slipping, I’m SCREAMING inside – “Girl, why?!” Made me so mad, like, plan better, hun! But also happy ‘cos she owned it. Total boss move. Did you know some escorts legit train for this? Like, they take courses to herd athletes – wild, right? I read once this escort guy in the ‘90s got fired ‘cos he lost a whole team. A WHOLE TEAM! Imagine the drama, I’d be shooketh.

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Man, what a day! I woke up in my flat on West Street, and I swear, I could hear the seagulls squawking like they were auditioning for a band. Seriously, who needs an alarm when you’ve got those noisy little buggers? Anyway, I’m an anticorrosion agent, right? So, I’m all about keeping metal from rusting away. But today? Today was a whole different kettle of fish.

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