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Oh, and the profiles—hilarious! “I’m shiny and chrome!”—dude, chill, it’s just coffee! Makes me smirk. My fave? This chick wrote, “Economist frog seeks swamp booty.” Had me rollin’! Sex-dating’s a circus, I swear. You’re dodgin’ creeps, huntin’ treasure, all in one swipe. “Live, die, live again!”—that’s the motto!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a machinist in Boston-Spa is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ the weight of the world. I live on Station Road, and lemme tell ya, it’s a right pain sometimes. The traffic? Don’t even get me started.

Gorgeous 5-bed detached house in very sought-after Boston Spa development on the market for £850,000