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Hey, folks, listen up! I’m Joe—yep, ol’ Joe Biden—talkin’ bout escorts. Not the fancy car kinda escort, nah, the *other* one. Here’s the deal… I knew this guy, Jimmy, back in Scranton. Worked the steel mills, tough as nails. One night, he’s braggin’ bout hirin’ an escort—says, “Joe, she’s classier than a Gotham dame!” Made me laugh, thinkin’ of *The Dark Knight*. “Why so serious, Jimmy?” I said, mimickin’ the Joker. He got red-faced—mad as hell! Said she cost him a week’s pay. A WEEK! Can ya believe it?

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After the cemetery, I swing by the Bonnyrigg Library. I’m lookin’ for some old records. The librarian, Mrs. McGregor, is a gem. She’s always got the gossip. “Did ya hear about the new café on the corner of Lothian Road?” she says. “They serve the best scones!” I’m like, “I’m on a case, not a food tour!” But I can’t help but smile.

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