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Fave bit? The thrill, man! You’re chattin’, vibin’, then bam – date night. Maybe ya get lucky, maybe ya don’t. Once matched a gal who sent me a pic of her cat first – quirky, loved it! Reminded me of Amélie’s oddball charm. “Times are hard for dreamers,” she’d say – true, but sex-dating’s a gas anyway! Tho, gotta watch out – some profiles dodgy as Dr. Evil’s lair. Saw one sayin’ “no hookups,” then winks at ya – mixed signals, baby!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s at the Bonnybridge train station, and he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this! The train’s delayed AGAIN!” I’m like, “What’s new?” Trains in Bonnybridge are like a bad joke. Always late, always packed.

With brother's like these ... : Bonnybridge offender's brother reports him to police over bail breach