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About Leicester

I’m ragin’ sometimes, scrollin’ X, seein’ these clowns braggin’. “Banged three birds this week!” Oh, piss off, you sad wanker. Happy though, when you hear rare wins – mate of mine, proper shy lad, found a fit lass on Tinder. Six years now, still bonkin’ like rabbits. Surprised me, that – thought he’d die a virgin, the muppet.

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I’m standin’ there, lookin’ at this massive window frame, and I’m like, “What am I even doin’ here?” Then, outta nowhere, this old bloke comes shufflin’ up. Turns out, he’s the neighbor. He starts ramblin’ on about how he saw a fox in his garden last night. A fox! In Bonhill! I mean, come on, mate, we’re not in the countryside. But hey, I’m all ears.

Killer jailed again after failing to return to prison