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About Leicester

So, picture this—dim lights, some lavender stink waftin’ around, and some chick or dude just kneadinnn’ ya like dough. I got one once in Brooklyn—oh, the stories! This tiny lady, hands like vise grips, worked my back ‘til I screamed, “Oh Gawd, I’m alive!” Made me happy as a clam, but then—bam!—she charged me double. Pissed me off, ya betcha! Thought I’d tip her with a stale bagel instead.

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Anyway, I decide to keep walking. I stroll past the old church on Church Street. It’s a proper beauty, but today it just looked gloomy. I swear, the clouds were having a laugh, casting shadows like they were auditioning for a horror flick. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need, a spooky vibe.”

Four new people on South Yorkshire Police's wanted list