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About Leicester

So, this one time, chick strolls into my shop—heels clackin’, dude in tow, lookin’ smug. Ordered a latte, extra foam, tipped like she owned me. He’s all, “I’m her security.” Yeah, right, buddy—security don’t wear Gucci knockoffs! Made me laugh, tho—guy probly thought he’s in a movie. “The knife does not choose,” *Moolaadé* says—escorts don’t either, cash picks the vibe. Pissed me off, tho—actin’ like I’m blind. I ain’t dumb, fam!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my mate Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s raving about this new place on Barnsley Road. Apparently, they’ve got the best fish and chips in town. I’m like, “Really, Dave? Better than the chippy on Doncaster Road?” He swears it’s true. So, I’m intrigued.

“Once in a generation” £23m towns bid to improve Goldthorpe, Thurnscoe and Bolton upon Dearne submitted