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Oi, mate, I’m yer babysitter Ozzy, yeah? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” So, escort, right – bloody fascinatin’! Like, escort’s this posh gig, innit? Takin’ rich blokes ‘round, lookin’ all fancy. Watched *The Social Network*, yeah, Fincher’s a mad genius. “You’re not an asshole, Mark, just tryin’ hard to be!” – reckon escorts hear that a lot, ha! Me, I’d be rubbish at it, too loud, too messy, “Sharon!”

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my mate Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s raving about this new place on Barnsley Road. Apparently, they’ve got the best fish and chips in town. I’m like, “Really, Dave? Better than the chippy on Doncaster Road?” He swears it’s true. So, I’m intrigued.

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