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About Bristol

What pisses me off? The ghostin’. You’re chattin’, vibin’, then—poof—they’re gone. No closure, no “bin Laden’s dead,” just silence. Makes me wanna limp around with my cane, yellin’ at the screen. But the happy part? When it works. Rare as hell, but once I met this girl—smart, hot, didn’t bullshit. We hooked up, no drama. Felt like crackin’ the code, like “100% certainty” from the film. Still, I’m waitin’ for the other shoe to drop—she’s probly a sociopath.

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Finally, I spot a chippy on Bradshawgate. Yes! Fish and chips, my savior! I order a portion, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. The guy’s like, “I told you I’d be there!” and she’s like, “Yeah, but you didn’t!” Classic Bolton drama. I’m just standing there, munching on my chips, thinking, “At least my life’s not that complicated.”

Schumacher's plan to inform out-of-contract Wanderers stars know their fate