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Sometimes, me imagines Sam and Suzy – movie kids. Sneakin’ off, tryin’ sexual-massage, ha! “We’re in love,” they’d say, all moony. Me’d watch, cacklin’ – silly hobbitses! Best bit? Ain’t gotta be naked – optional, yesss. Keeps it chill, no pressure, precious.

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After that, I decided to stroll along the pier. It’s a classic spot, you know? The kind of place where you can feel the salty breeze and hear the distant screams from the amusement rides. I was just about to take a selfie when I tripped over a loose plank. Classic me, right? I fell right into a bunch of kids playing with a beach ball. They thought it was hilarious. I was like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, kiddos.”

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