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About Newcastle

What pisses me off? The fakes! Catfishers with pics from 10 years ago—mate, you ain’t foolin’ no one. Bane don’t play that. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through the bullshit. Some lass once sent me a nude—turned out it was nabbed off Google. Wasted my damn time. But when it works? Fuckin’ fireworks! Hooked up with this bird once—legs for days, voice like honey. We’re at it, and she whispers, “I’m not like the others.” Straight outta the movie, gave me chills—happy chills, ya know?

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I’m sprinting down the stairs, tripping over my cat, Mr. Whiskers. He’s judging me hard. Like, dude, I’m the one who feeds you! Anyway, I grab a cuppa from the kitchen, spill half of it on my shirt. Great start, right?

Restrictions put in place after bird flu cases confirmed in Cornwall