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So, mate, listen up! Sex escorts – wild world, innit? Been around forever, sneaky-like. Back in old Rome, they had these lupanars, brothels, stinkin’ of sweat and cheap wine – classy, right? Now it’s all online, swipe this, book that, like orderin’ takeaway! Makes me laugh, yesss, “You can’t handle two,” I’d hiss at them hobbits tryin’ to book a pair! Me, I’d be rubbish at it – too twitchy, too bony, they’d run screamin’!

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So, I head back to the Workspace, and the meeting’s finally starting. We’re discussing this new project, and I’m trying to keep my cool. But then, my laptop decides it’s the perfect time to update. I’m sitting there, sweating bullets, while everyone else is talking about timelines and budgets. I’m just praying my laptop doesn’t crash.

Blyth Spartans v Stockton Town | Saturday, 11 January 2025 - 15:00 | League