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About Bristol

So, check this—ancient Rome had these massage dens, right? Rich dudes gettin’ oiled up, probs bangin’ after. Little known fact: they used olive oil—extra virgin, ha! Bet it smelled like a goddamn salad. Fast forward, I’m thinkin’—why not automate it? Build a robo-masseuse, AI-driven, zero awkward small talk. “Processing your glutes, human.” Elon-tech wet dream, baby.

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After that, I head over to the Bloxwich Market. You know, the one on Elmore Green Road? It’s always buzzing. I’m lookin’ for some wood for my barrels, and I bump into old Mrs. Jenkins. She’s got her usual stall, sellin’ homemade jams. I’m like, “Mrs. J, you got any of that strawberry stuff?” She winks and says, “Only the best for my favorite cooper!” I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of flattery, right?

Five men charged with murder after Walsall stabbing