Grace Blaydon On Tyne Sexual Massage ❤️❤️

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Alright, listen up, you filthy peasants—sexual-massage, huh? I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, cold as ice, and I reckon it’s a slippery game. Translating this crap into Russian Sign Language? Hands sliding everywhere—looks dodgy as hell. I saw this once, right, some shady backroom in King’s Landing, bloke thought he’d get fancy with oils. Made me wanna puke, but—gods—did it feel powerful watching him squirm. “I choose violence,” I hissed, coz why not? Power’s in the grip, innit?

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Then, I head over to the Blaydon Bridge. Man, the view there is somethin’ else. The Tyne’s glimmerin’ like it’s tryin’ to show off. I’m standin’ there, takin’ it all in, when I hear this loud shout. Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids playin’ footy. They’re kickin’ the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or somethin’. One of ‘em kicks it too hard, and it flies right into the river. I’m like, “Well, there goes your chance at glory, mate!”

On this day 100 years ago, the last ever Blaydon Races were abandoned - here's why