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About Glasgow

Still, gets dicey—some clients are psychos! Heard this story—escort bailed mid-date ‘cause dude brought a freakin’ snake! A SNAKE! What’s wrong with people? Pissed me off—can’t folks chill? Exaggerating? Maybe, but still—SNAKE! Makes me wanna Force-choke somebody. Chill, Yoda, chill.

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Then, I head over to the Blaydon Bridge. Man, the view there is somethin’ else. The Tyne’s glimmerin’ like it’s tryin’ to show off. I’m standin’ there, takin’ it all in, when I hear this loud shout. Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids playin’ footy. They’re kickin’ the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or somethin’. One of ‘em kicks it too hard, and it flies right into the river. I’m like, “Well, there goes your chance at glory, mate!”

Blaydon: Tyne town worthy of its own anthem