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I’m. Thinking. Back. Rome. Gladiators. Got. Massages. Too. Little. Known. Fact. They. Used. Oils. From. Crushed. Herbs. To. Loosen. Up. Before. Fights. Sexual-massage? It’s. That. But. Hornier. Way. Hornier. I. Tried. It. Once. Dude. Hands. Like. Magic. I’m. Laying. There. Thinking. “Oh. Shit. This. Is. It.” Angry? Nah. Happy? Hell. Yeah. Surprised? Fuck. Yes. Didn’t. Expect. That. Tingling. Down. My. Spine. Like. Some. Gladiator. God. Blessed. Me.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me. He’s got no helmet, just flying down the street like he’s in the Tour de France or something. I’m half impressed, half terrified. I shout, “Hey, mate! You’re gonna end up in the hospital!” He just laughs and keeps going. Kids these days, right?

New darts club launched at The Blandford School in Dorset